Normal People Do Not Smash Pumpkins.

With Halloween swiftly approaching, beautifully carved pumpkins have begun to pop up everywhere. I love carved pumpkins. They are so festive and wonderful and they really bring out the spirit of the season!

Unfortunately, the carved wonderfulness also brings out the not normals for the ever annoying tradition of pumpkin smashing. These morons dress in dark clothes and attack pumpkins for fun and probably to make them feel better about themselves or make them feel like a big shot. If you need to smash pumpkins to boost your self esteem you are not normal. See a psychologist. If you do it to feel like a big shot you probably have a small penis. Get over it. If you do it for fun you are a mean spirited asshole and you deserve a punch in the face or a swift kick in the balls. I’d be happy to give you either.

It’s simple… Smashing other people’s possessions is not normal. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pumpkin or a Bugatti Veyron. Pumpkin smashing is an act of vandalism and NPN Newsflash: It’s Illegal. If it doesn’t belong to you… leave it the hell alone!


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